Stories From a Radio Show in Night Vale
by LunaIrenePond
Summary: A collections of Welcome to Night Vale one shots, will probably be mostly Cecilos, enjoy.
1. The Question

**_A/N: ah math what a wonderful class to do everything but math in..._**

Carlos didn't think that he would stay in Night Vale for very long, it just sort of happened. Night Vale was strange and they never found any explanations, even after years of scientific research. But the years started rolling by, Carlos's things ended up in Cecil's house, and slowly, one by one, all the other researchers left town. After about four years the funding stopped coming, so Carlos got a job at the Night Vale Music Store.

Cecil didn't mean for Carlos to stay, it just sort of happened. Cecil didn't really think that their relation would last very long, he thought he was too strange for someone as perfectly normal as Carlos. Cecil just didn't believe it when Carlos fun lay decided to stay in Night Vale without funding and he was even more surprised when, after seven years, he was the one to finally pop the question.

"So Cecil," Carlos said while they were eating diner one night. "I did some research and same sex marriage is legal in Night Vale, so," Carlos took Cecil's hand. "Cecil Baldwin will you marry me?"

"Oh my god, oh my god, yes, oh my god," Cecil was stunned, he was amazed, and he was the luckiest person in the world to have someone like Carlos.


	2. Christmas and Harvey

It was early December in Night Vale and Carlos was in the festive spirit... Cecil didn't know what was wrong with him. Carlos had just finished making a Christmas tree out of beakers and test tubes from his lab when Cecil finally asked him what was going on, "Carlos, are you sick? You've been acting rather strange lately?"

"What do you mean by strange?" Carlos asked, he was honestly concerned; it was strange that Cecil would be caught off gaurs by anything, least of all Carlos.

"Well, for starters you have been walking around the apartment for the past week singing songs about a fat stalker guy who breaks into people's houses and gives them presents while they are asleep." Cecil said as he made Carlos and himself a cup of tea. "And then there is the problem that you are just really happy all the time I mean we live in the desert and its cold enough you need a winter coat. Given your past reactions I would think you would have freaked out but no you just build a snowman with the interns at the radio station."

"Cecil..." Carlos tried to say but Cecil cut him off.

"No, I'm just getting started," Cecil said putting up his hand and Carlos just sat down at the island in the kitchen where they were standing. "I just don't get it Carlos you are acting strange and it has gotten me worried."

"Cecil, do you not know of Christmas?" Carlos asked as he reached across the island to hold Cecil's hand.

"What's Christmas?" Cecil asked as his eyebrows furled together in confusion.

"It started as a celebration of a baby being born who they thought would bring an end to grief and war, but now it has become a celebration of love, caring, and family. I usually go home to my parents for Christmas but I don't think I will this year," Carlos said as he sipped the mug of tea Cecil had made him.

"Oh, we celebrate that in the spring by offering up ten year old cats to the black obelisk in front of the Ralf's," Cecil said as understanding dawned on his face. "But why wouldn't you be able to go home?"

"Well first of all I don't know if I left that I would be able to find the town again and second of all if I go see my parents I would want to introduce them to you."

"Well I've left and come back before so, it is doable and I really don't think station management would be to upset if I left for a day or two and put one of the interns in charge of the station while I was gone," Cecil said as he got that look in his eye that Carlos had taken as meaning he was planning something.

"Cecil, what are you planning?" Carlos asked slightly worried.

"Well if you really want to go home for Christmas I think I could arrange it."

"Cecil... you don't have to do anything for me," Carlos was taken by surprise.

"But I want to," Cecil said as he wrapped his arms around Carlos's thin frame.

"Well if you are going to get in trouble I don't want you to do it," Carlos said as he kissed Cecil lightly on the forehead. "Why don't you just ask Station Management to begin with?"

"Okay," Cecil said kissing him back. "But if they say yes…"

"If they say yes then we will talk about it more," Carlos started to mindlessly trace the tattoos that ran up and down Cecil's arm. "And anyway I have to get to the lab in a few minutes."

"Do you want me to drive you over on my way to the station?" Cecil offered.

"That would be amazing," Carlos smiled as he dethatched himself from Cecil and went to grab his lab coat.

Hours later Cecil was standing outside of Station Management's door when he shouted, "COULD I PERHAPS TAKE A FEW DAYS OFF TO GO VISIT CARLOS'S FAMILY!?"

A couple minutes later a letter popped out beneath the door which read the following, "Not at this time."

Cecil was distraught and he started the radio show with a heavy heart. All threw the broadcast he sounded down trodden and upset. During the weather segment he received a phone call, "Hello?" He said as he picked up his cell phone.

"Cecil what happened?" Carlos asked on the other end.

"Station Management said I couldn't take a few days off…"

"Hey, then why don't we have a movie night?" Carlos said trying to cheer his goofy boyfriend up.

"That would be great, Carlos!" Cecil said as he perked up a little bit.

"You can pick the first movie," Carlos offered knowing exactly what it was going to be.

"I got this. Let's watch Harvey," Cecil said and Carlos could almost see his face light up with excitement. No matter what was going on Carlos knew that Harvey could always distract and cheer Cecil up.

_**A/N: Plot? What is this thing called plot you speak of? Moral of the story don't start a story late at night, don't write when you are sleep deprived, and watch Harvey. Harvey changed John Green's life. This was such a stupid story I'm sorry… DFTBA and please give me prompts. **_


	3. Killer Bunnies

Carlos was used to a fair amount of things in Night Vale, he had been living there for two years already, but now and again things did seem to surprise him. Like killer bunnies that were guarding one of the many caves on the outskirts of town. Carlos would had left them alone to but the thing was that the cave they were guarding just so happened to be the entrance to the Night Vale Wall-mart, the only grocery store in town. "Cecil, could you please put in a word to your listeners about the killer bunnies in front of the Wall-mart cave entrance?" Carlos asked over the phone. He had called Cecil during the middle of the weather sequence.

"Yeah Carlos, sure thing," Cecil sounded tired over the phone.

Carlos made a metal note to ask him about how much sleep he was actually getting, but that would have to wait, "Thank you, Cecil."

"Hey, Carlos," Cecil said before he could hang up. "You're not going to go try and get rid of them are you?"

Carlos could hear the worry in Cecil's voice, "I have to, Cecil, or no one will be able to get food."

"Could you just wait until I can come and help you?" Cecil asked. Ever since the incident with the floating knives outside of the apartment complex Cecil had gotten a little more wary of Carlos going off to try and deal with dangerous things by himself.

"Sure thing," Carlos said right before he hung up the phone.

"And the verdict is?" asked one of the few remaining scientist from the original group of about twenty, there were now five.

"We are going to sit and wait till Cecil's show is over so that he can come and help us," Carlos said as he ran a hand threw his hair.

"Well at least that'll give us more time to run test on this bunny we caught the other day," she said as she walked towards a large cage on the other side of the lab.

"How did you catch it?" Carlos asked slightly worried.

"Oh, we had to pry him off of Michael's leg," she shrugged. Out of the five of them Angie was the most adjusted to Night Vale. "Don't worry he will recover, the cut wasn't too deep."

"Glad to hear it…" Carlos said as he slowly walked over to the cage. The bunny inside was your normal bunny, he was white and looked completely innocent aside from the blood and viscera dripping from its chin. "Angie, have you ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail?"

"I know what you are thinking and yes, they seem to be the same type of bunnies," her eyes seemed to light up the more she thought about it.

"So we should be able to kill them the same way," Carlos said thinking out loud.

"And because we have already captured one to study it's not like we need any more for science…" Angie said as she realized what was going through Carlos's head.

"And they are killing people so really they count as a health problem to this town…"

"So blowing them up isn't really a moral problem…"

"Or a scientific problem," Carlos concluded.

"But there are about twenty of them," Angie said concerned about how much explosives they were going to go through.

"So, we will consult Cecil when he gets here," Carlos said. It always seemed to help to have a locals input on the matter at hand.

What seemed like half an hour later, you never could tell in Night Vale, Cecil showed up at the lab. "Hey Cecil, we need input on how to kill nineteen killer bunnies, we were thinking explosives but we don't want to damage the Wall-mart," Carlos told Cecil as he walked in the door.

"Well, the employees of the Wall-mart have barricaded themselves inside so I don't think that any explosion would hurt them any. But what kind of bunnies are they? I might have dealt with them before."

"We have one over here," Angie said as she showed Cecil over to the cage… which now had one full grown bunny and three babies. "But… but we only had one bunny a few minutes ago…" Angie said in disbelief.

"Oh I remember these guys," Cecil said with a big smile on his face. "They are self replicating killer bunnies the only way to kill them a biblical hand grenade…"

"Well do you have a biblical hand grenade?" Carlos asked with a sigh.

"Yeah I think there is one still in my hall closet, we can grab it on the way to the cave that they are guarding," Cecil grabbed his coat and started heading for the door.

"But won't we need more than one?" asked Angie as they followed Cecil down the street.

"No, once you kill one of them they all die. They have a special link. We killed one thousand of them back during my senior year of high school with only one hand grenade," they were at Cecil's apartment now and after a bit of rummaging through forgotten boxes they found the hand grenade just where Cecil said it would be. Then after a fair amount of throwing things and running away all of the killer bunnies were dead in Night Vale… well… for the time being that was.

_**A/N: So… that happened. Moral of the story do not discus dead plot bunnies and Night Vale at the same time…**_


	4. The Hair Cut

The Hair Cut

Carlos never thought of his hair being anything close to perfect. It never laid flat and it was always insanely curly. To Carlos it was anything but perfect. Years ago Carlos found out that if he just cut the sides of his hair, in essence giving himself a mow hawk, his hair would stay out of his eyes, and in any case he sort of did like the look of it.

He had been in Night Vale a couple weeks and he had already had about five near death experiences so you can imagine how nervous he was when he decided that he was going to have to get a haircut.

Telly was a rather nice guy; he was also the only barber in the town. He joked with Carlos about how most scientist never really last long in the town. "So how do you want your hair cut?" Telly finally asked Carlos.

"Well," Carlos stammered. "I would like sort of a mow hawk, but instead of shaving the sides have a close buzz cut."

"I can do that," Telly said as he led Carlos over to one of the chairs.

Unlike most barbers Telly actually did an amazing job of following Carlos's instructions and soon after Telly was done and Carlos had pain him Carlos was on his way back to the lab. Carlos wasn't prepared for what happened next.

Just as Carlos's watch hit four o'clock the speakers that hung from the lamp post all throughout the town came on and Cecil's smooth and dark voice washed over the whole town. At the least Carlos was startled, he had always been in the lab when Cecil's show came on so he didn't know if this was normal of not. But hey, it was Night Vale, everything and nothing was normal. Buy the time Carlos finally got to the lab Cecil was ranting about Carlos's new hair cut. But for some reason he wasn't blaming Carlos, he was yelling about Telly. There wasn't any logical explanation for it. It was Carlos's hair, wasn't it?

Carlos was pretty sure that he could do a whole study of mob mentality just in Night Vale because within a couple weeks Telly the barber had been driven out of the town to the desert wasteland right outside of the city limits. All because Carlos had gotten his hair cut and the radio show host had the mentality of a two year old when something happened that he didn't like.

_**A/N: Once again we find ourselves looking at the moral of this story… This time it's that the new Carlos's hair is awesome and come on that would be an appropriate haircut for Cecil to flip out about. Please hand me your prompts so I can eat 'em and then spit 'em out into Night Vale one-ish shots. DFTBA!**_


End file.
